White People Wednesdays: Who’s Your Black Friend?

I was in the kitchen at work when a white lady I know came in and said, “Hey Heather! Sway said I should ask YOU about white people?

(I’m like) “HUH???”

She continued….”I’m doing some research and I need to know some OTHER differences about white&black people; And Sway thought you could help me.” She said, “I know white people like to chase tornadoes and stuff like that, but what else?”

I laughed, because the first thing I told her was….”More white people need atleast ONE black friend. JUST ONE! And I don’t mean a token black friend…I mean a REAL friend.”

Clearly, if she had a real black friend, that friend would’ve told her, “DON’T BE WALKING UP TO BLACK  PEOPLE (at work) ASKING THEM ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE!” You trying to get me fired? LIES!!!

I did want to tell her though….For years I watch my married white friends have awesome relationships with their FATHER IN LAWS. Because quiet as kept, father in laws are a missing thing…especially for black women.

We have mother in laws (and I’ll save that for another day) but a black woman with a father in law is as rare as a 4 leaf clover. I made a list of (black) women that I know who are married, have been married, and/or are engaged: There are 21 names on the list, and only 6 have father in laws!!! (Oddly, most of the husbands of these women have/had father in laws though.)

Agree with me or not, but my theory is….If some of the mother in laws had HUSBANDS, life would be a little different in the black marriage department. Life would be different as a wife. Wives might actually have lives with THEIR husbands.

Wives in general spend alot of time, (especially in the beginning) trying to cater, get along, and somewhat “share” their husbands with their mother in laws, but I often wonder what the “unheard voice” aka the father in law, would have to say about Thanksgiving, Christmas, Calling every 25 minutes, etc.

Now I could get into the whole cultural thing and folks growing up in broken homes and all that, but Obama&Romney already wore me out last night: We ain’t got time for all of that. Especially when people always tell men, “Look at her mother, and then you’ll see what your wife will look like and be like in 20 years.”

Well, what do women have to “look at?” HIS MOTHER? And does that mean my 6’4, big hunky boo, gonna shrink down to 5’3? Get glasses? A wig? And need a ride to Walmart, the doctor, and some church thing twice a week? LIES! LIES! LIES! Who signs up for THAT???

So white people, when and if you do get your one black friend, And she happens to be married…Don’t ask her “How are things going?” Ask her, “Do you want me to HOOK your mother in law up?” HAHAHA!!!



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I can’t remember what year it was…but my cousin Kim and I went to see Janet Jackson perform at Madison Square Garden and her opening ...